Thoughts at 26 weeks pregnant, how I am "feeling"

I thought I would post a blog right at viability when I hit 24 weeks because to me that was such a big milestone in pregnancy. However, the laziness that has settled over me because of this pregnancy has prevented me from doing so. As mentioned in my last post, the most frequent question I am asked is, "How are you feeling?" I think this question is comical. I think that people are being sincere and really want to know, but it is such a complicated question. How am I feeling? Well usually I just say, oh fine. Or good. But if I could really spend the time on that question, here is what I would say.

I am feeling exhausted. Can we just talk about sleep for a second? I hate that I can't sleep! I am up so much in the night already. I consider it a full night sleep when all I have to do is wake up to go to the bathroom 3 times. Most nights I am tossing and turning and achy all over. It is awesome. This is basically what our bed looks like. I have my wall of pillows that I adjust accordingly throughout the night. I know this is a normal thing in pregnancy but it does not make it any less terrible.

I am still feeling sick. I have really come to not enjoy eating, which is really too bad because food used to be so delicious. I still wake up feeling slightly nauseous every morning, which is almost as awesome as not being able to sleep. There are some blessed foods that help me out every day. I love fruit! It is the best! Peaches, oranges, apples, bananas, watermelon. I love it all. And fruit juice! My new favorite is apple juice! But don't worry orange juice, you are my favorite too. I am finally back in the meat game, but for a while there the smell of BBQ was enough to make my stomach curdle. Popsicles are always good. Bread is not. When you read about morning sickness stuff they say to eat dry foods like bread and crackers. Yes, why not make my already dry mouth gag a little more? I have kind of lost my love of bread, which is really not so bad for weight gain. Except for garlic bread, I could eat a whole loaf by myself.

I am feeling crazy. My emotions are out of control! I am already one of those females who is very sensitive to hormonal changes in my body. And, especially with being married, I have come to realize when it is really my hormones that is making me act like an insane person and I just step back, eat some ice cream, sit alone, and calm down. However, with pregnancy this is a whole new ball game. I literally cried for about an hour by myself last week. I just kept crying for no reason at all. Poor Sam has no idea what to do. I can barely watch or read anything to do with a newborn without crying. Like hysterically.

I am feeling sensitive, emotionally and physically. I don't know if this is normal in pregnancy, but I feel like I get pins and needles all over for no reason at all. It is like my body is radiating energy and I can't calm down. We will just be watching TV and I start getting restless body syndrome and I can't sit still. It is almost painful. I tried to talk to my doctor about it but I think she just thought I was having anxiety. This is not anxiety. It is a physical discomfort and I hate it. Usually we just go for a walk and that helps, but I hope it goes away after the baby comes. Also, at night when I lay down I feel like my heart is pounding out of my chest. That is likely due to all the extra blood my body it pumping, but it is just one of the things that makes it hard to sleep. I am also super touchy and startle easily. If you wanted to scare me, now is the time, except don't because if you do I am afraid the baby will pop out. Every little thing makes me jump. One night, while sleeping, Sam just affectionately tickled by leg with his hand, but I jumped up and thought a mouse was in the bed and almost fell on to the floor. It was a bit of an over reaction.

I am feeling uncomfortable. I know, I know. I have a long way to go until November, but I am already uncomfortable. Not just from my belly, but everything else. It is hard to get up and down already. I get a head ache almost every day. My back sometimes feels paralyzed by the end of the day. My feet are sore. I stretch, relax, walk, get back rubs, take baths, use essential oils, listen to meditation things, but the discomfort really is always there. 

I feel incapable. I am the type of person that is able to do most things for myself. I am not a needy person. I am the helper, not the one who gets helped. But that is all changing. I have considered it a successful day when I just pick one big thing to get done. Like writing this blog might be my one big thing and then maybe I will take a nap. However, I have about a million things to do. I have tried to be really productive this summer, and with A LOT of help from Sam, we have a lot done already.

With that being said, there is still a lot to do before Baby Boy comes. The above picture is the state of the nursery right now. We do have a dresser, a crib, the nursery painted, stroller put together, clothes being washed and organized already happening or done, which I think is pretty good 3 months away from birth. But the reason why I want all this done is because I am about to go back to work. Oh did I mention this is my last day of summer? I start work tomorrow and school starts next week. That is a whole other topic though.

I feel excited and overwhelmed with happiness. With all of those above complaints I am mostly excited. Yes, I feel a big amount of fear and anxiety, but I think that is normal and good right now. When I first found out that I was pregnant I was not afraid at all. I felt like I could handle everything because I have so much time under my belt taking care of all kinds of babies. Well there is nothing like a good 6 months of pregnancy to humble you a bit. I think it is good for me to realize that I don't know it all and that this is going to be a huge challenge for me. I could not be more excited for that challenge though. I can't wait to meet our baby! Three months seems like such a long, long time. All of this is worth it and all I want is a happy, healthy, chubby baby boy and all of this will just be a hazy memory right? Or so I have heard. 

Well here at am at 26 weeks pregnant. Here is to 14 more weeks to go! I can't wait to meet you Baby Boy, but for now you better stay in there and I will continue to "feel fine" until you come!