Sam and I have talked about having a baby for a while now. We would keep picking a time that we would start trying but then that time would come and go and we would not have started. I am not really sure what was keeping us, but looking back I can see that right now is the perfect time for our little family to grow. We had been trying since September of last year. After several months of nothing happening I started to get a little worried that I would have hard time getting pregnant, but then that day came when that little test said "pregnant." It was such a strange experience. I was almost certain that I was not pregnant, but I took a test anyways just like I did every month. I was shocked when it was positive. I wanted to run and tell Sam immediately, but decided to wait and take another test to be sure. The one I had used was actually expired, and I was worried it was a false positive. Keeping that from Sam for only 8 hours was the longest day of my life! I bought him a book that night called "Dude, You're Going to be Dad" I took another test, and sure enough it was positive. I told Sam that night.
We were going to wait a while before telling anyone, but literallly two days after we found out we got the news that my sister in law was pregnant as well. Sam and I talked about it and decided when else would Sam's parents find out that they are having two grandkids on the same day? So we just went for it. Sam insisted that my Mom be the first person we told, and so we did. I thought that was pretty cute of him. Then we went over to Sam's parents that night and shared the news with them. I thought I was 6 weeks then, but it turns out I was probably only 4 1/2! We ended up telling my family the next day at a family gathering. It was fun to tell our families early and I am glad we did because then you can just be open about not feeling good.
I have been feeling pretty sick since about 7 weeks. I luckily have not thrown up, but I pretty much gag at everything all day long. Nightime is the absolute worst. In some ways I think being at work helps me not think about dicomforts, but it also is really hard to get out of bed and be surrounded by teenagers all day when all you want to do is lay down and fall asleep. I am really hoping that in the next weeks the sickness gets better. I am already growing out of my clothes even though I am not really showing yet. I am 12 1/2 weeks today. I have been around a lot of pregnant women and have heard about all the symptoms but the one that has taken me by surprise the most is the exhaustion. I am so tired! I am actually surprised about all the little things that I used to do each day that I just can't do now. I can barely open the fridge because it grosses me out. I can't do the dishes. I can barely feed our cat. Our house is a mess and I have cooked dinner maybe twice since finding out about the baby. My Mom and Sam have really stepped up and helped me out. Sam runs all kinds of errands for me and makes dinner and whatever else I need. Now that he is done with school it is easier for him to help. I have only had two emotional breakdowns so far... One in the morning because all the cereal I liked was gone and I could not find anything to eat, and one night after a long day because I was hungry and could not think of what to eat and so over tired I was like a two year old without a nap. Poor Sam. He is so patient with me. I can laugh about those now, but I can't promise it won't happen again... I definitely have some pretty wild emotions.
My due date is Novermber 17th. I am planning on working part time next year at my school and am so glad that my awesome principal has been so supportive of me. We won't find out the baby's gender until July 2nd. I am really so happy about everything. Every night I remind myself that despite all the discomfort I am so grateful for this opportunity to be a Mother. I pray every night and thank God for this privilege. I know so many amazing women who want to be a mother more than anything and for some reason have not been given that opportunity. I know the road will not be easy, but I want to try to be the best parent I can be and not take it for granted. I am actually way more afraid of being pregnant and giving birth than actually having a child. With all the practice Sam and I have gotten over the years with my nieces and nephews, we keep joking that having just one baby that is all our own is going to be easy! I know it won't really, but I am just so excited and feel ready for this next step. November can't some soon enough for us.
