1. Communication is everything. It doesn't matter what it is about, but you have to communicate. Men are not mind readers and if we don't say what we want, they will never know.
2. It is okay to disagree, and even fight, as long as you always work it out. Sam and I have had some big fights (probably because of me), but the important thing is that we always work it out. Sometimes it is better to stay up late to work it out, and sometimes it is better to go to bed and sleep on it. There is really no one thing that is best, it really depends on the situation you are in.
3. Couples who say that they have no problems are either lying or are not in reality. I have learned that it is okay to not be perfect and to not compare myself to other couples. There is no way you can make it through life with no problems, it is better to learn how to deal with those problems together instead of pretending they don't exist.
4. Take time to have fun. Sam and I have so much fun together. We both like to do different things, but we have found things we both like to do together. I sometimes think I could just hang out with Sam for the rest of my life and I could be okay with that. We are best friends.
5. Decide what is important to you and what you can overlook. For example, Sam never puts the cereal away in the morning, and it annoys me, but I just have to get over it. I always leave my shoes all over the house and it annoys Sam, but he just gets over it. Those things are not important to me or him so even if they are kind of annoying, we don't make a big deal out of them. But we are able to be vocal about the things that really do count.
6. Be each other's advocate. Don't use the workplace, your friends, or your family to complain about your spouse. When you talk about your husband or wife it should not always be negative. Take your problems to your spouse and work it out with them instead of bringing everyone else in as well. I try really hard to talk positively about Sam and to be his advocate.
7. Don't forget to be romantic. Even being newlyweds, every married person knows that it is really easy to get in a routine and not take time to be romantic every now and then. So go watch the sunset together, open a bottle of sparkling cider, go on a date, hold hand on the couch, whatever, just be romantic as much as you can.
8. Speaking of romance, don't forget to hug and kiss every single day. There is nothing better than having loving arms to come home to, so take advantage of that. Sam and I take time every day, no matter how tired we are, to give each other a hug and a kiss at the beginning and the end of the day, and usually in the middle too :)
9. Keep spirituality in the home. Take time to pray together, to study the scriptures, to go the temple, and keep good things in the home. We have had so many blessings throughout our entire relationship and I know that this is one of the most important things to having a happy marriage.
10. The last, and one of the most important things I have learned is to put Sam first. This sounds so simple, but it is so hard sometimes. I have discovered that any time I feel like there is a problem or that I am feeling bad about something it is because I am thinking about how it affects me or how I am being hurt. But when I put Sam first it opens my mind up and I feel so much more compassionate and loving. When we both do this for each other we end up helping each other out so much more. Seriously, it truly works and it reminds me of how much I love Sam and how important he is in my life.
There are way more than 10 things to making a marriage work and that I have learned over the past year, but this is just a blog, not a novel. Marriage is hard work, but the reward is beyond measure. I can't describe how much love I have for Sam and how wonderful being married to him is. We may be poor and not have all the things we want and we are far from perfect, but at the end of the day when I look at Sam as we are falling asleep and fall in love with him over and over again. I am so blessed to have him in my life. I love you Sam. Happy one year!
